As well as posting intermittent erotic fiction, musings, and sex toy reviews, I want to use this space to start reviewing some of the porn I’ve been watching.
I don’t watch porn to get off to it. On the contrary, I find it very difficult to masturbate while watching porn. It puts me off. Sure, it might get me in the mood to have a good fiddle, but ultimately the multi-tasking nature of fucking myself and watching porn doesn’t cross my mind at all. I want to be fully immersed in the ‘watching’ and the ‘feeling’, not the ‘doing’.
You may be asking yourself;
But isn’t that the whole point of porn?
Don’t we use it as a form of stimulation?
Isn’t it designed for that exact purpose?
I’d like to think that porn actors also enjoy what they do when they do it. After all, it’s in (most of) our natures to get turned on, or at the very least experience bodily changes when we see people engaging in sexual acts. Especially if they’re really getting into it.
What does Mel watch? (why did I write this in the third person?)
There are two main types of porn I personally choose to submerge myself in.
1. ‘Cinematic Porn’
This is probably, in part, because I took a Film Studies degree and now I have a metaphorical hard-on for the visual arts, particularly a lot of world cinema (things like Aki Kaurismaki, Jim Jarmusch, and Michel Gondry). ‘Cinematic’ porn, such as the stunning yet simple works produced by Erika Lust really catch my attention. I reckon I’ll be mentioning her name a lot on this blog since she’s really been pushing the boat out in terms of redefining the genre. What she’s doing is making porn more inclusive, safe, and ramping up the sensuality experienced by real people.
I like what she produces because it generates such a natural and free-flowing atmosphere, and yet it manages to push fantasy into a completely accessible space; one that is relatable, with real bodies—tattoos, piercings, scars, rashes, acne. You name it. That’s reality for you, and I think you’d be surprised how many people would actually prefer to see this type of pornography. It largely comes down to the timing and the framing. And whilst the actors in Erika Lust’s films are following a script to some extent, most of the time it comes across as believable, like something you’d hear with friends or partners. More often than not, there’s a dialogue between the actors, a continuous feedback loop that allows for deeper mutual exploration of desires.
By saying this, I’m not denigrating Porn Hub, YouPorn or any of those sites, because admittedly I do occasionally browse them—more for amusement than anything else. But deep down, I think porn deserves special treatment; a glossy coat, but one that doesn’t require that feeling of luxury or falseness to create long-lasting appeal. Erika Lust’s X Confessions, several volumes of short erotic films, really encapsulate what it means to take sexual fantasies to the next level and show them unashamedly on screen to a whole new audience.
As someone who is especially drawn to visual, tactile, aural stimuli, I simply love the fact that there’s porn that’s so visceral I can practically touch it through the screen. I have yet to experience VR porn, but in all honestly, while I am curious, it doesn’t pique my interest enough to seek it out just yet.
2. Individual Amateur Porn
I say ‘amateur’, but what I really mean is that people who aren’t working in an over-commercialised porn industry. I mean, some ‘amateurs’ are pros. Kudos to those who do work in commercial porn though. Still, I would prefer to support people who are doing it for themselves or starring in more niche, indie roles that tend to emphasise important values of respect, consent and last but not least, mutual fucking fun.
If self-propelled(?) performance is one way that people explore sexual urges, which might otherwise not be accessible in their local area, then why not go for it? And this is true whether it’s for monetary reasons or not. My hope is that the vast majority of people running their own porn accounts want to do it and that they’re making the content they want to make. There’s no shame in financial gain from any of this stuff. Really, I don’t understand the problem. It’s just like everything else. So long as there’s consent and nobody is getting hurt or being discriminated against, then rock the fuck on. If you don’t want to pay, don’t ask for free stuff from them.
After all, what we do with our bodies should always be a personal choice. We are responsible for them in the same way we are responsible for our overall well-being. Granted not everybody has that choice, for one reason or another. But at the very least we do all have the ability to change our attitude towards sex. We can accept that some people like to make, or simply watch, porn in the same way that someone else likes to knit sweaters or volunteer at a cat rescue shelter. If we wanted to, we could do all of those things, just…perhaps not at the same time.
Side note: Alright, I challenge someone out there to make a full-length porn movie featuring a vet orgy that takes place at a cat shelter while a comfy winter sweater is being expertly knitted during some intricate foreplay involving a tight, blackout eye mask. It’s a premise that was just asking to be adapted for the screen.
In terms of content, I’ll watch anyone and anything. I usually veer towards straight porn, but I like guy on guy too (oh, surprise surprise). Honestly, though, I really just like watching people having fun, no matter their gender or sexual identity. So long as it’s consensual, between adults, and it’s something I find to be an enjoyable or interesting concept—even if it’s not aligned with one of my personal kinks—I’ll certainly give it a look.
One thing’s for sure though. I definitely take pleasure in watching other people do sexual things that I wouldn’t necessarily think to do in reality. In short, I like uncovering other people’s fantasies through this medium, and observing how they play out on screen. I have two modes; porn-watching / engaging in sexual activities.
Perhaps one day, I will get off to porn.
But, to quote an episode of the English dub of ‘Sailor Moon’…
—”not today, squishface.”