Suits—those restrictive and stuffy reminders of authoritarianism. A disguise designed to present a sense of decorum, of superiority and professionalism. I utterly despise what they stand for, and yet I find myself curiously attracted to men in suits. For years, I’ve admired menswear departments for their arrays of shirts, ties, jackets, trousers…belts. There’s something so fulfilling about walking around them. It’s not even that I want to wear men’s clothes. Admittedly, I do own several pairs of men’s boxer shorts but, conversely, those are freeing, rather than being restrictive.
Typically, you might say this perspective is because suits have an air of dominance about them. I mean, someone wearing a suit—especially if it looks expensive and well-made—automatically looks powerful…don’t they?
But that’s not why I’m drawn to them.
There’s a two-sided approach to how I view this ‘kink’ and I’ll do my best to explain here.
Angle #1: Submission / Defeat
On the one hand, it’s not your stereotypical Fifty Shades CEO domination fantasy that appeals to me. It’s their submission I revel in. And I don’t personally purport to have fantasies about being a domme in any sense—it’s never about me. In these fantasies, I’m an outsider, secretly watching the scene unravel from within the bounds of my imagination.
In fiction, I seem to fawn over troubled characters, those with a depth and angst that can’t be easily resolved. A sense of desperation that would likely feed into their kinks. And if they’re suit-wearing authority figures like cops, lawyers or teachers? Well, that’s even better. By now, you may know that my main thing is guy on guy action. So, it’s also true that I have a special place in my heart for kink involving men in suits…fucking other men in suits.
Something about seeing that tight-knit, breath-suppressing outfit suddenly being broken apart by the weight of their own personal plight really appeals to me. Don’t get me wrong, I very much dislike watching people suffer, but this is more a point about humanising those we perceive as being in some ‘higher’ position. It brings an entirely new perspective, hoists them down a notch, deflates their ego, and makes them more relatable. Good storytelling can do exactly this, casting the ‘bad guys’ in a slightly more tangible and understandable light.
Suits, for me, aptly embody this sense of conflict.
Angle #2: Softness / Relaxation
The other reason I find suits so alluring is not because of their restrictiveness per se, but wondering what happens when they’ve fulfilled their formal role for the day.
The idea that, behind all the tightness and the pretence, there’s a whole other personality. I’m not saying when people wear suits they immediately turn into someone else; ultimately, they’re not suit werewolves. Still, there’s a strange kind of pleasure in watching people wind down from a role that may be stressful and overwhelming, one that is constantly littered with high expectations. So, I enjoy the idea that they start to become themselves once they loosen their tie, unbutton their shirt, and slip off their jacket.
One of the most powerful images for me is that of the Japanese salaryman—often expected to work overtime (although admittedly, this is gradually shifting toward fairer hours), display a certain amount of professional conduct during office hours. Then there’s the midway point, during nomikai (drinking meetups) where they’re with co-workers, managers and section heads, but bonding on an entirely different level. Sure, there’s still hierarchy at play, but usually the more senior managers buy the food and drink for their subordinates. During these after work get-togethers, there is a certain amount of leniency and more permission to ‘speak freely’ to a degree. But of course, there are still expectations.
One artist I really admire is ma2, who has managed to capture the essence of a Japanese salarymen in all their glory. I was ecstatic when I received a copy of their book ‘Salaryman Illustration’, which presents many beautifully drawn salarymen in various situations, such as drinking at the bar with a co-worker, frantically answering a telephone call at the office, drinking a coffee on the way to work, getting home in the evening to greet their wife (or girlfriend), just…sitting on a bench enjoying the scenery. They’re all situations that would ordinarily be very banal, but that’s precisely what makes them so aesthetically pleasing.
In short, I find myself in love with the idea that men who wear suits are somehow just ‘putting on a façade’ and that, underneath it all, there’s a soft melty core, a more human side.
A side that is open, true, and feels without judgement, and with total, unfettered comfort.