"Come here," Rico beckoned Andy closer, sporting a small grin. "I'll show you exactly what my process is like. You don't have to look so worried about things."
Andy let out a sigh. "Alright, if you say so." He inched closer to Rico, leaning an elbow casually on the steel countertop as he observed.
Andy Hayes. Fledgling food critic and something of a novice. He was the most determined fresh blood on the scene, having blagged his way into his first job working for renowned gourmet cuisine mag, Dégorger et Farce. The publication's readership comprised mainly of frequent travellers, those always on the lookout for their next juicy morsel of Chateaubriand or an independently produced local cheese to dig their chops into. Those fucking hipsters. They were just like sheep, gluttons, utter twats.
Forlorn and exhausted, it had been a long day for Ruben. He'd got home at precisely eleven thirty at night to find the house in absolute tatters. Ripped clothes were strewn everywhere, and while he'd been out, his housemate had seemingly run the place down to its most primal state. It was humid, and a… Continue reading CuCUMba: City of Dick Worshippers
This is something I wrote ages ago in 2011, when I was meant to be working on my University dissertation. This is by no means favourite story, but I finally got around to editing it and cutting it down massively after all this time. Figured I'd put it out there, regardless of the cheese factor. This was… Continue reading Kirei Reiki (Beautiful Aura)
Foreword: You may already recognise the title as being lyrics from 'Personal Jesus' by Depeche Mode. This story was in part inspired by the song, and in part inspired by a conversation I happened to eavesdrop on while I was travelling on the train recently—it was a pretty regular chat at first listen, but the man's… Continue reading Pick Up the Receiver, I’ll Make You a Believer
Foreword: This gay short features a character called Jimothy who was not invented by myself, but by a friend of mine, Jack (https://twitter.com/SplathouseFic) during some of his audio works, and I just felt compelled to include him in this. Enjoy! Micromanage Me Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Miles Banhardt. A small cog in… Continue reading Micromanage Me
Foreword: Inspired by the song Bassline Junkie by Dizzie Rascal in which he repeatedly chants "big, dirty stinkin' bass", I decided it would be fun to create some kind of pun around that and throw together something involving the heavy beats of music, DJs and sexual fetishes. PLUS a sprinkling of love for the hairy bear x… Continue reading Big Dirty Stinkin’ Ass
Foreword: I binge-watched the first season of Bonding today on Netflix. It was only released yesterday but, you know, each episode was only sixteen minutes long. That makes it far too easy to get stuck in. Although I'm not personally a member of the BDSM community (and don't intend to be, even though I would absolutely watch),… Continue reading An Obsequious Tendency
Foreword: This piece of flash fiction was inspired by personal experiences with life drawing. I would like to reinforce the point that life drawing is primarily an artistic activity and is not inherently sexual in nature, but in this case I wanted to explore what happens if it slips into that realm. Ten-minute Sketch… Continue reading Ten-minute Sketch
Foreword: My husband and I really enjoy listening to songs by comedic Norwegian duo Ylvis. They have one particular tune called Intolerant, about a couple who are constantly fighting due to their respective dietary requirements, and they can never agree on what to eat together. So I figured I'd take this opportunity to write something very loosely… Continue reading Spit and Survive